The Day After The Awakening - An Interview with Tara Spencer

The Unbelievers (Book 2 in The Awakening series) begins a few months after the end of The Awakening and is scheduled to be released this Fall. Below is an interview with Tara Spencer the day after The Awakening ended, plus a sneak peek at the current draft of the cover of Book 2.

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Tara, you gave birth yesterday, how do you feel?

- Exhausted. I feel like I could sleep for a year.

- Relieved. Fimi’s okay – I named the baby Sophia Fiona, Fimi for short – she’s in an incubator because she’s so tiny and she’s premature, but the doctors say she’ll be out in no time.

- Grateful to my mom and Sophia for being right there when I gave birth.

- Angry at my dad for calling the FBI, though I understand why he felt like he had to. No one knew what the right thing to do was about Bailey being kidnapped. But if he hadn’t, I would have said what the Brotherhood wanted me to say and Bailey would have been released without harm – maybe. I get that’s a big maybe.

- Also angry at my dad because I’m pretty sure he still doesn't really believe me that I don’t know how Fimi could possibly have been conceived.

- Sad and dark when I think about Megan, so for just this little while, I’m trying not to. It’s too much to take in. Part of me refuses to believe she’s gone.

- Confused about reviving Bailey and Cyril. Or, rather, about what I was reviving them from. It was all such a blur. At the moment, I felt sure Bailey was dead and Cyril was dying. But now I can’t believe that could have been so. Maybe they both just passed out.

- Furious at Cyril for kidnapping Bailey and relieved that Cyril ultimately let Bailey go. At least, that’s what Bailey said happened, but he’s pretty fuzzy on everything, which the doctors say is normal. I also feel heartbroken that this person I felt like I was falling for doesn't seem to exist. When I met Cyril, he seemed so certain of everything. I thought he might be crazy, and that he must be wrong about me, but there was something appealing about how sure he was and how dedicated to his goals. It’s how I feel about becoming a doctor. I want to study medicine, particularly oncology, and be a family practice doctor. That way I can try to prevent cancer or catch it early as well as treat it. I’m not really seeing right now how I’ll manage all that given everything that’s happened, but there must be some way.

Have your beliefs about God – or there not being a god – changed?

Can I say not exactly? It seems like there must be something supernatural or I couldn’t have become pregnant. But part of me still thinks there’ll be some logical explanation. What, I can’t imagine. Especially now that I’ve seen Fimi and she’s healthy and normal. I’ve got to tell you, despite the pregnancy proceeding normally (other then all strange things that happened to me), I had nightmares about giving birth to an alien baby. One that looked like a tiny ET or a spider out of a Stephen King novel. Or a demon child with hooves. Okay, let’s not go there.

Did you really mean it when you told Cyril you forgave him?

I did at that moment. If you could have seen his face – everything was right there. How awful he felt for everything he’s done. This sort of envy, or maybe longing is a better word, for the kind of family I have. We’re not perfect, and I’m still getting over my mom and dad letting me down, but I never doubt they love me. And I love my sibs and they love me. It's one of those things I never question, it just is. But Cyril, I'm pretty sure he's had the opposite experience. He has not felt much love, and he's wondered if the people who say they love him really do. Which does not bode well for him, I realize, when it comes to forming romantic relationships. And before you say I should have thought of that before getting involved with him, let me remind you how chaotic my life was at the time. Cyril seemed like a rock, well, at least a fairly sturdy boulder, in comparison to everything else going on.

Would you ever get involved with Cyril again?

I really seriously doubt it. For one thing, he’ll be in jail for a long time. But more important, I don’t know how I can trust him. He could tell me he changed, but how could he prove it? And how could he make up for being part of the scheme to kidnap Bailey and getting Bailey killed or almost getting him killed, whichever it is that happened? I won’t say it could never happen because I’ve been completely wrong about people before, but I don't see it.

Are you worried about the Brotherhood?

How could I not be? I'm just hoping its big goals were (1) to stop Fimi from being born, which it failed at, and (2) when that didn’t work, to make me “admit” there was nothing out of the ordinary about her conception. The second they more or less succeeded at since I said Fimi was conceived in the usual way in the hope that it would make Cyril release Bailey. So the Brotherhood and I should be done.

I’m a little concerned about the repercussions of that lie. For one thing, I think it made my dad doubt me more. But I’m glad I told it. I think I’m better off being quiet about Fimi and staying out of the public eye. In fact, when Fimi’s a little bigger, I plan to move to Willow Springs. Nanor said I can stay there for a while with Fimi and just rest and recover. She held a vote with the community on it, though she’s the founder and didn’t need to, and most everyone agreed that would be all right. So I can get adjusted to having a baby and, I hope, catch up on my college classes. Eventually, I’ll need a longer term plan, but for now, that makes a lot of sense to me.

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